I Want a Roomba
Of course, I'd heard of Roombas. I'd seen cartoons spoofing Roombas. I'd heard people talking about Roombas the same way people talked about digi-pets and robot dogs that were so hot in the late 90's and early 00's respectively. I have even seen one in the flesh, sitting like a dumpy Frisbee on a vacuum display at The Bon. But I have not, until today, desired a Roomba. Then I learned some FACTS:

That Roomba was designed by the same people who designed the Mars rover.

That Roomba is smarter than a cricket, but less smart than a Chihuahua.

That Roomba comes in red.

It's a robot vacuum cleaner, sure. Sounds like a gimmick, a fad-to-be, something that rich people buy when hiring a housekeeper would actually be cheaper. But I believe in Roomba. I believe in what Roomba stands for: the future. My generation has lived with the tantalizing hope of a science fiction future within our lifetime. We weren't alone in ticking off the months until the year 2001 rolled around, but unlike the generation that had conceived the ideas of personal robots and Pan Am flights to the International Space Station, we were going to be young enough to enjoy it. We weren't blind, however. We knew commercial spaceflight wasn't happening and flying cars were a bust. Personally, I even felt a tad disappointed when the War Against the Machines didn't begin in 1996. All the cool milestones of technology and culture have been pushed back a few decades. For instance, we're only now beginning to experience George Orwell's vision... twenty years late.

I can vacuum my apartment, my place isn't that big. Every Saturday, with the regularity of ritual, I sweep and vacuum and dust. For the remainder of the day, my apartment is clean, but by midnight, the dust bunnies are already peeking their noses out and rolling across the floor. Nonetheless, I don't begrudge the work.

The Roomba's symbolic meaning is almost as, if not more, important than its ability to clean floors. Sure, it's ideally suited to low carpet and hardwood, both of which I have. Sure it can clean under beds effortlessly. Sure it would be amusing to see my cats run terrified from the room whenever it approached...

A semi-autonomous robot, built for a purpose and performing that task well, seems simple, but it's not something that has ever existed in the average home before. It's certainly nothing that's existed in my home before. The base model Roomba costs $150, which is only $50 more than I paid for my bottom of the line, Dirt Devil upright vacuum, and the Roomba does do the work for you.

We are in the prologue... the montage at the opening of the movie showing a brief history of robot evolution. The moody music plays, Linda Hamilton's voice rises out of the music, low and serious: "In the year 2004, robots served humanity..." And the first shot is of a dumpy little Frisbee looking thing that cleans floors.

I'm not going to hold out for a bipedal android that calls me "mistress." I want a Roomba.

- posted by Katherine @ 3:57 PM