Shocking Revelation! Hired Killers of US Military Behave Brutally Toward Their Defeated Enemies.
Dateline, Iraq: After months of whispered accusations, last week CBS news confirmed that some of the soldiers sent to the Middle East to slay large numbers of Iraqis have since gone on to torture and humiliate them as well. This shocking discovery has sent shockwaves of shock through both the Arab world and the ten percent of Americans who care about such things. Photos and eyewitness accounts portray stacks of naked Iraqi prisoners with bags over their heads… no one knows why. Other prisoners describe being forced to simulate homosexual acts for the amusement of homophobic American guards. Their concerns are understandable given that in theocratic Islamic states, homosexuality is punishable by death. For this reason, several unnamed prisoners expressed some relief about the bags over their heads.

In a press conference Monday, Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, apologized for the soldier’s conduct, while defending their record in Iraq. “Over the past year and a half, we’ve killed tens of thousands of Iraqi combatants, as well as tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians. Our New Fangled Military ™ uses the latest Killtastik Technology™ to make sure that these people died quickly and relatively painlessly. I am shocked… shocked and appalled that a teeny-tiny portion of our good men in uniform would heap pain and humiliation on top of all the nice, clean death we’ve dealt in this desert land.”

One US soldier who declined to give his name, expressed his concerns over the alleged torture. “I just joined the Army so I could learn about network systems administration and then get money for college. How was I supposed to know we were gonna be sent to a foreign country to kill people? I’ve killed a bunch of people, but still haven’t learned anything about networks… oh, and I guess torture is wrong.”

The reaction of the Iraqi people to the torture accounts has been swift and angry. Men and women, secular humanists a month ago, are now calling upon wrathful Allah to smite the American devils.

“When the Americans first came to Baghdad, I was elated. Remember the guy straddling the Saddam statue and beating it in the face with his shoe? That was me.” Omar Hadir is a dry cleaner who used to press the uniforms of the Baathist party elite. “After a year without power, clean water, oil revenue, stable government, a free press, laws, security nor a future for my children, I was feeling a little shaky about my support of the occupation. The torture was just the straw that broke the camel’s back I suppose. Now I wish that there truly were weapons of mass destruction in my country. I would strap one to my body and swim to the White House.”

President Bush, in a tightly scripted interview with American run, pro-American, CIA mouthpiece, Arabic language television stations, expressed his regret for the misunderstanding. “I just want to make one thing perfectly clear to all those medias out there talkin’ about this bad thing in Iraq. Don’t you call this torture… cause it ain’t… it’s abuse, plain and simple. A parent can abuse a child, and still love that child… and that’s what’s happening here. We abuse the Iraqi people, but we still love them.”

- posted by Katherine @ 5:18 PM 0 comments

 
Randompixel
I found this site on Metafilter a couple of weeks ago. To quote from the site: "A camera, alone in the world. Each Randompixel camera was given to a stranger. Stickers on the camera instruct the recipient to take a few pictures and pass it along. When the camera is done, it is dropped in the mail, it returns home, and the pictures are posted here." So today I went to Randompixel.

The camera, Ammy, spent a great deal of time in Sacramento, at what looked to be a Fair. I saw nothing extrordinary until the second to last picture, when I recognized Kim. Kim, for those of you who don't know, is an old family friend who I haven't seen in many years. Here's the picture. I got very excited, because what the hell are the odds? I clicked on the next picture, and who do you suppose Kim was hanging out with that day? My sister, Daniela.

The internet is a small, strange place.
- posted by Katherine @ 6:33 PM 0 comments