Friday, May 09, 2003
Gloop
Once upon a time, there was a thick little girl named Gloop. Gloop loved popular culture. She had J Lo posters on her walls, and ate those Eggo waffles with the pectin flavored gel inside, and had Pokemon cards tacked to her headboard so that she could stare at Pikachu and masturbate.
One day, on the advice of a chihuahua, she went to Taco Bell. They had a new menu item: the Happy Fun Sloppy Yum-Yum Treat. It was fried meat surrounded by three colors of processed cheese and then wrapped in a deep-fried carbohydrate. She smiled, showing her blunt ruminating teeth and drooling down the front of her earthtone t-shirt. She waited in line for a full thirty seconds, suffering a small aneurysm over the delayed gratification. Then she stood at the counter, listing to the right, but triumphant. The cybernetically controlled biowad order taker flapped its fins and asked Gloop what she would like to assimilate that evening. Trembling, Gloop slid her cash card across the counter and ordered her first Happy Fun Sloppy Yum-Yum Treat.
Gloop stood tall, her chin implant thrust out and eyes rolling in her head like a chameleon. "I shall take this product home, and I will sit on my couch and I will watch CSI as I consume it."
The biowad gargled its approval, shooting balls of lard into the air from its retrofitted ovipositors.
